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Saturday, August 17, 2019

House Rules Update!!!! V2.5



Please look at my house rules I'm begging you

I changed some stuff relating to saving throws, monster creation, restocking megadungeons, added some tables for miniature rules, and probably some other things I forgot. Please take a look!!!

Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Dragons on Erath


I don't really like how traditional D&D dragons work. They don't seem to give off a coherent feeling to me, they don't seem to have a proper soul if you will. This could just be me, but they just feel so boring.

Maybe its the huge number of kinds of dragons that exist that makes them so boring to me, or maybe its the fact that they have a high level of intelligence and then do basically nothing but lie around in caves all day or eat a few peasants. It just doesn't sit quite well with me.

When I think of my idealized dragon, these are kind of what they look like;


(From Dragonslayer)




(These two are unknown sources, please let me know if you know who the artists are so I can credit them)

I don't like the more mystical side of dragons, with spell-casting and shape shifting and magic and stuff like that. When a dragon is around things should be messed up. Its not natural at all, it destroys entire ecosystems and razes villages to the ground, and it does so without a hint of remorse or thought. It hoards gold, jewels, and other objects like a gargantuan magpie for no reason other than that it likes the shininess, and won't hesitate to kill to get a single penny more. There is no divine intelligence or knowledge held within, only a predator's need to kill.

This doesn't mean there aren't dragon cultists though, inevitably someone will find out that if you keep the dragon well fed, it won't kill, and thus the sacrifices of cattle begin, followed by worship, followed by human sacrifice.

Dragons probably are going to be the only thing in their dungeon if they're around, aside from maybe some dog-sized mites that fell off of its scales or a few incredibly dedicated cultists.

Anatomy

Dragons are not a singular species, but rather a group of very similar animals. Universally, dragons have the ability to spew fire, and are always reptilian in nature, with at least 2 clawed limbs, but aside from this, much is variable. Some dragons are wingless, and possess only 2 nearly-vestigial arms to drag themselves around. Others have 4 powerful legs and large wings extending from their backs. Variations in color abound as well, typically reflecting their environment.

Okay But Where Do They Come From?

Dragons are basically a weird kind of dinosaur that survived the mass extinction event that caused the end of the Serpent-folk empire. Instead of just dying like most of the other dinosaurs, the dragons dug some burrows, and slept, saving their energy. They were buried under tons of rubble and dust and earth, hiding until the time is right. Yes, this does mean that most dragons are literally millions of years old, holdovers from another time.

Most of the time, dragons are awoken by earthquakes exposing strata that haven't seen the light of day in eons. This has led to some people believing that earthquakes is the very ground itself going into labor to birth forth a dragon. Sometimes, however, dragons are uncovered through human efforts, typically mining operations.

Combat Statistics

Dragon
HD 5 to 15
AC heavy+shield (17)
ATK 2 claws, 1 bite, or breath weapon
DMG 1d6+2 each claw, 2d6 bite, special
HDE HD+3

Depending on the maturity of the dragon, these beasts can vary greatly in size. A typical adult dragon is the size of an elephant, and has 10 HD, while a truly ancient one may be as large as a whale, with 15 HD. Depending on the dragon, it may or may not have wings and be capable of flight.

A dragon's most defining trait is its ability to spew forth a jet of white-hot flame. This breath weapon automatically hits anything in its path, and deals damage equal to the dragon's current HP. A saving throw can be made to halve the damage.

Dragon Mite
HD 1/2
AC light (12)
ATK 1 bite
DMG 1d6-1
HDE 1/2

In many cases, the parasites that afflicted the ancient dragons manage to survive in stasis with their hosts. Dragon mites are about a foot in length, and resemble large ticks. They are nearly unnoticed by the dragon, and many often fall off and scurry into the darkness, where they look for new hosts. Though their mouthparts are built to drink only harmless sips of blood, they can be used as a dangerous shiv when the creatures feel threatened.


(By Dack9 on wikipedia)

Friday, August 2, 2019

Beholders SUCK!!!!


Beholders suck, they're stupid, this is dumb.

Look at this stat block, just look at it. There isn't a proper, easy to roll hit dice number, they give you  range of 45-75. How the hell am I supposed to generate that?? 44+1d30??

And the armor class, this is just ridiculous, it has 3 different ACs. Judging by the description, you have to roll percentile dice to determine where you hit it before you can roll to attack just so you can figure out what armor class you're rolling against.

And how does it attack? Well it has a bite attack for 2d4 damage, and generally then you have to roll 1d4 to determine how many magical attacks it gets, through which it is implied you have to roll a d10 that many times to determine what different magical attacks it uses. Oh, and also it has an anti-magic ray, because screw you if you're a magic-user and you wanted to have a fun time.

Also I'm just realizing you have to keep INDIVIDUAL TRACK OF ALL 10 EYE STALKS' HP???? OF WHICH THEY HAVE 8-12 EACH?? EACH FLIMSY EYE STALK HAS MORE HEALTH THAN THE AVERAGE PERSON.

Okay, lets say you do get into combat with this thing and everything is set up and you can get past all that. Now, in order to find out what its magical attacks do you have to OPEN ANOTHER BOOK TO CHECK WHAT THE SPELLS DO!!!!!!

Oh, and what is the alignment of a creature for whom running combat is an absolute chaotic nightmare?

Lawful evil.

We can fix this.

Beholder
HD 14
AC heavy+shield
ATK 1 bite + 1d6 magical attacks (automatically hit)
DMG 1d6+1

Magical Attack Table:
1. Hypnotize: Target must make a saving throw or obey a command made by the beholder
2. Laser Beam: Target must make a saving throw or take 3d6 damage
3. Paralyze: Target must make a saving throw or be unable to move for 1d6 rounds
4. Push: Target must make a saving throw or be flung 1d6x10 feet away, taking 1d6 damage in the process
5. Blind: Target must make a saving throw or be blinded for 1d6 rounds
6. Terrify: Target must make a saving throw or be affected with abject, supernatural terror, attempting to flee the battle and trying to kill anything that gets in their way. This lasts for 1d6 rounds.

Every time a beholder takes 6 damage or more, the beholder takes a -1 penalty to determine how many magical attacks they get to make, representing an eye being cut off.

There, no more stupid to-hit percentile rolls, no more page flipping, no more anti-magic ray, no more variable amount of eye rays which can hit given the angle which someone attacks it at, no more stupid eye stalk HP.

Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Random Dungeon Name Generator

I have been on a roll with d66 tables recently, and I know its getting boring fast, but have one more for your trouble, this one I actually have used in an earlier form for my solo game (and I do need to catch up on play reports and post those soon).

You could also use this table to generate names for individual levels of a megadungeon, which I'm certain would turn into a very odd place indeed.

D66
Place
Descriptor
Noun
11
Abattoir
Tenebrous
Delights
12
Oubliette
Prehuman
Death
13
Charnel House
Unearthly
Dead
14
Manor
Demoniac
Torment
15
Estate
Eldritch
Antiquity
16
Tower
Hellish
Terror
21
Cathedral
Impossible
Horror
22
Sewers
Rotten
Doom
23
Tunnels
Eternal
Monstrosity
24
Cavern
Pestilent
Skull
25
Mine
Unnatural
Necromancer
26
Castle
Ancient
King
31
Fortress
Forbidden
Queen
32
Labyrinth
Infernal
Lord
33
Dungeon
Verdant
Lady
34
Laboratory
Fungal
Fear
35
University
Putrescent
God
36
Tomb
Blood-stained
Goddess
41
House
Hedonistic
Deity
42
Ruins
Royal
Court
43
Temple
Nameless
Army
44
Mausoleum
Unreal
Treasures
45
Cabin
Unrelenting
Bones
46
Palace
Mournful
Statues
51
Library
Foul
Violence
52
Monastery
Dream-like
History
53
Vault
Filthy
Stars
54
Catacombs
Terrible
Secrets
55
Pyramid
Corrupted
Masks
56
Ziggurat
Nightmarish
Corpses
61
City
Ecstatic
Sword
62
Halls
Otherworldly
Machine
63
Chambers
Haunted
Void
64
Hive
Unhallowed
Netherworld
65
Prison
Primeval
Sorcerer
66
Sanctum
Vile
Prophet

Also, I have decided to include a random button, using this tool here




I hope this is useful to y'all!


(From Bloodborne)



Monday, July 22, 2019

Demonic God Generator: Redux


(Art by Jeremy Jarvis for 3.5e D&D)

I was originally gonna call this post Demonic God ReGenerator but then I was worried people would be confused and not click on it. Anyway a while back I made a random demonic god generator with 20736 possible combinations, and this expanded version should have 1679616 possible combinations. Have fun!

D66
Epithet
Domain
Form
Cult Markings
11
Bringer
Destruction
A human
Members of the cult take on some of the features of their deity
12
Eater
Monsters
A human with animal-like features
All members are undead, walking rotting corpses
13
Scholar
Nature
A worm/serpent
Cult is only formed from animals, no humans
14
Harbinger
Caves
A dragon
Can only consume human flesh and blood
15
Priest
The Void
A being of pure energy
All members are monsters
16
Slayer
Death
An inanimate object
Are covered in tattoos
21
Hunter
Oceans
A celestial body
Oddly colored eyes
22
Harvester
Fire
A hybrid of two or more different animals
Are inhuman creatures wearing disguises
23
Traveler
Decay
The form of whatever being it possesses
Disguise themselves as members of another, more accepted religion
24
Watcher
Shadows
Liquid
All cultists look similar
25
Speaker
Forgotten Things
A machine
They bleed a color other than red
26
Seer
Industry
A constantly mutating mass of flesh
They never sleep
31
Mother
Forbidden Knowledge
A giant arthropod
They smell very unusual
32
Father
Mutation
A tentacled mass
Are covered in painful looking piercings
33
Parent
The Apocalypse
An amorphous blob
All members suffer from minor mutations
34
King
Blood
A giant humanoid
Too wide mouths
35
Queen
Hate
A living shadow
Telekinetic powers
36
Monarch
Greed
A wild animal
Tongues cut out
41
Lord
Wind
A tumor growing from someone’s back
The cult is linked in a hive mind
42
Lady
Undeath
A stinking fog
The cultists have minor regenerative abilities
43
Noble
Corruption
An enormous, organic building
A public figure is a member of the cult
44
President
Lies
A huge, monstrous face
The cultists act wild and feral
45
Creator
Disease
Impossible to describe
They are eternally youthful
46
Philosopher
Cruelty
A horrible mathematical equation
They are hypnotized and act against their will
51
Keeper
Dark Magic
A different deity it pretends to be
They take copious amounts of drugs
52
Husband
Murder
An angel
They run a charity as a front
53
Wife
Doom
An emaciated humanoid form
The cultists are all talented artists of some kind
54
Spouse
Torment
A human fetus
The cultists are all scholars
55
Painter
Parasites
A metallic orb
They don’t blink
56
Writer
Cannibalism
A glowing crystal
They are possessed
61
Whisperer
Thoughts
The rotting corpse of an unknown animal
They give birth to demons through immaculate conception
62
Haunter
Atrocity
A deep sea fish
Their eyes reflect light like a cat
63
Beast
Rage
A supernaturally beautiful human
They don’t know their god is demonic
64
Master
Disturbing Beauty
A geometric shape
They are all supernaturally beautiful
65
Mistress
Blinding Light
A disembodied body part
They are unnaturally strong
66
Source
Nightmares
An arcane symbol
They put out their eyes

Apit-Rogog, Master of Nightmares

Apit-Rogog is a demonic god that lurks in a Hell accessible only in the darkest of dreams. To those trapped in nightmares, he has sway over. He can appear to these people suffering in their own personal Hells and offer freedom and salvation, in exchange for their service. After he makes his victims swear fealty, he causes them to wake up, but can now contact this newly minted cultist through telepathy. At any point from then on, he can plunge his cultists into nightmare at will as punishment for disobedience.

The cult quickly is ordered to found a new church, posing as whatever religion is most popular and accepted, and to offer salvation to all who want it. Secretly, however, the cult's goal is to instill nightmares in their congregation, telling tales of what will happen in the end of days and the horrendous suffering that will be experienced by the church's attendees if they do not seek salvation. Once the church-goers are sufficiently terrified, they may have nightmares horrid enough for Apit-Rogog to enter through.

Apit-Rogog wants to eventually enter this world and consume it, but he needs enough followers to complete the ritual to do so. In his true form he resembles a vast living shadow, capable of blocking out the sun.


(From Elder Evils for 3.5e D&D)

Daufix, Slayer of Forbidden Knowledge

There are some things humanity is not meant to know, and when such secrets are uncovered, Daufix awakens. In the vast blackness of space, Daufix floats among the stars, a vast, miles-long semi-human face. After some unfortunate scholar discovers a secret he was never meant to know, Daufix opens its enormous cavern of a mouth and screams, its voice telepathically ringing in the ears of its cultists, who set off to kill the being that offended it.

The cult of Daufix is small, consisting of millennia old astrologers, dressed in elaborate cloaks and with the faces of the young. Over the years they have become master assassins, skilled at finding and exterminating those who know what they ought not to know. So long as they faithfully serve Daufix, they will live forever.