Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Dee Eye Why Thirty 19 through 27 AAAAAAAAHHHHHH

Wow I sure did procrastinate on this didn't I?

19. What single change would you make to a popular D&D setting and why?

Screw it lets go with Greyhawk: We don't need this many pseudo goblins. Xvorts, kobolds, orcs, hobgoblins, mites, all those guys, they can just be one thing. Just have goblins be themselves. Even Tolkien didn't make a distinction between goblins and orcs. They're the same.

20. Describe a mechanic you would put into your Science Fiction Heartbreaker.

You have a space fever stat. You know how people stuck in a cabin go kinda bonkers after a while? Its like that but with a spaceship. The more time you spend in a ship without leaving, the higher this stat gets. When doing something stressful, you have to roll over your space fever stat or you don't do it and start babbling about the void.

21. Most unexpected spell that helped you get past the walls of the Fortress of See.

Light. The honorable pastor Matthew cast the spell to distract the countless eyes that dot the fortress walls, allowing him to sneak through one of the fortress's many mouth-doors.

22. Describe Milk Demons for me. What do they do, what are their names, what do they taste like?

They look like oozes made from rancid milk, and they like to go inside cows. They crawl into their udders and corrupt the cows, transforming them into cruel demonic cattle. Milk demons all have names that sound like bubbles, such as Borbleglook, Durble, and Bipplewip. Anyone who dares to try and drink from a milk demon will find that they taste delicious, like ice cream, shortly before the idiot's bones melt.

23. How should gods work in a game?

They don't. There may be gods, but they don't actually care that much. Clerics/priests/whatever are basically tricking gods into giving them what they want. Unless you call special attention to yourself, gods aren't likely to notice you.

In fact, though many zealous folk claim that gods created all that is, it is far more likely that a mixture of physics, evolution, natural magic, and only the slightest bit of divine intervention actually created the world as we currently know it

24. If the object closest to your left hand right now was a magic item in your campaign, what would it do?

Purple colored pencil. You can draw living constructs with it, but it drains your life force to do so.

25. The last thing you drank is a potion. What are its effects?

Milk. The "potion" is actually a milk demon in a jar. Your bones melt. Idiot.

26. Your childhood pet is now a monster. How is it going to kill me?

Smudge is a small cat-like being that haunts 1 room in a house. It blends into the background, hides under beds, generally stays out of notice. But as time goes on it becomes bolder, leaving scratches and bite marks on you while you sleep. Eventually, it slits your throat.

27. So what's with that overly-elaborate locked box?

Its full of weird BDSM demons that will tear your soul apart.

Just kidding, it stores the finger of a powerful dead demon god. The box is enchanted, blessed, and virtually indestructible, to prevent cultists of the dead monster from bringing it back to life.

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